Bullshit!
by GingerMarauderette
Summary: Edward, Bella and all the rest of the Twilight gang play Bullshit. Will Emmett, the reigning champion be taken down? If so, by whom? I was bored, don't blame me. One-shot. Rated T for repeated use of "Bullshit"


Bullshit!!!

By LiveLaughLoveSwim

Told in Edward's POV

Summary:

Ok, I love Bullshit and I thought of this and I couldn't not write it. : P So Bullshit with the Twilight Characters was born!!! Totally random, have fun:D

I looked over at Bella, and I could tell she could not keep her eyes open any longer. She was making such an attempt to pay attention to the movie we were watching, but if she knew the main character's name I would be surprised. The movie was actually fairly good. As the movie was slowly climbing towards the climax, I heard a slam and Emmett's booming voice yell "BULLSHIT!"

Bella awoke with a start, eyes blinking rapidly and looking deeply disorientated.

"What in the name of good and evil was that?" She questioned, so seriously I couldn't help but laugh.

"Good and evil?" I sniggered and she hit me with all the force of a drifting snowflake. I rubbed my arm to give her the satisfaction and took her by the hand to the "dining room" where Rosalie, Alice, Emmett and Jasper were sitting, playing what I could guess, due to the earlier exclamation, to be Bullshit.

"Ugh, Emmett won. Again." Alice said, fury spilling out of every pore. She hated losing. "I don't know how he does it. He changes his mind so much and so fast that I get the vision of the hand he played, like, three seconds ago!!!"

"And he stays perfectly calm the whole time! No matter how much I screw with his emotions, HE STILL MANAGES TO WIN!!!!!!!!!" Jasper screamed.

"I bet I could beat him." Bella said softly.

We all turned and started at her. I knew right away I wanted nothing to do with this.

"Bella," Rosalie said calmly. "Emmett has _never_ lost a game of Bullshit in his entire existence." She held in the obvious pride for her husband fairly well. "There is no way you can beat him." She said smugly.

"I'm pretty sure I can handle it." She took the pack, looked Emmett straight in the eye and handed it to him. "Deal."

He took the pack, eyed he maliciously and shuffled. "We'll be nice and play at human speed for little Bella." He dealt swiftly and observed his hand. I tried to read his mind, but all I could hear was "In the year 1835, Charles St Maria de la Cruz took a train to Blitzhovenmeyer to..." I could see nor hear anything useful; Alice was analyzing her latest pair of stilettos, and Jasper was thinking of millions of ways to save the rainforest. Rosalie was, of course, thinking about herself and her beauty.

"Let Bella go first!" Alice exclaimed.

Bella nodded and stole a fleeting glance at her cards. "Two aces."

Rosalie eyed her suspiciously, but said nothing. "Three twos." The words weren't even out of her lipsticked mouth when Jasper said "Bullshit" Rosalie glared at him and took the pile. "Bella bullshited a while ago. I knew it!" Rosalie announced. Bella gave a shy smile.

"One three" Alice said. No one ever Bullshits Alice. You learn after fifty years of playing Bullshit with her that she will never Bullshit unless she has to.

"Three fours." Emmett said.

"Bullshit." Bella said, not even looking up from her cards. Emmett took the pile. Bella took a card out of her hand and said "One five."

"Bullshit." Alice smiled. Bella smiled back and flipped over the little card to reveal: a five. Alice took it, and said; though I'm not sure Bella heard it, "Yes!"

Rosalie took a risky move just then. "Four sixes."

"BULLSHIT!" Emmett, Jasper and Alice exclaimed at the same time. It then became an uproar of shouts, screams, collisions causing huge bangs every so often. I stood in front of Bella, chuckling under my breath.

After a refrain of "You idiot I called it first!" Jasper ended up with the four sixes.

Alice, still disappointed at the fact that she had not gotten those cards, glumly put down three sevens. Jasper, quite content, threw a pair of eights into the pile. Emmett put down one nine and Bella one ten. No one Bullshited for a long time.

Each had about 3 cards in their hand except Emmett, who was about to play his last card.

"One queen."

Here's the thing about Emmett, he never Bullshits on his last play. He manipulates the game so that he never has to. So it came as the shock of all shocks when Bella whispered "Bullshit."

It was dead silent. Even everybody's thoughts went silent, including Rosalie. The few seconds in which Bella and Emmett stared each other down seemed like several sunlit days. Then, so fast I barely saw it, Emmett whipped out his hand and took the pile, which was pretty damn huge. We were all so stunned we forgot to celebrate.

"Four kings" Bella laid down her last hand and Emmett, eager for revenge, yelled Bullshit so loud the entire house shook. Then excruciatingly slowly, Bella reached towards the cards and flipped them over.

Four Kings.

We stood there like idiots, for once stumped. It was Alice who came out of the mini-stupor first.

"WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" She said, picking Bella up and twirling her around. She then threw her very carefully to Jasper, who put her on his shoulders and tickled her feet. Rosalie was already upstairs with Emmett, who was swearing loud enough to wake the dead.

Jasper took Bella off his shoulders and she ran towards me, face glowing. She looked positively radiant.

"Good job, love."

And then we kissed.


End file.
